One of the biggest issues I had when cohabitating was a stale sex routine. Not that the actual sex was stale, but now that we were living together and sex was a possibility any time, instead of becoming more exciting, it became more…well…routine!
Especially signaling when it was time for sex. I had a hard time getting my ex to understand that “Hey, you wanna have sex?” is not a turn-on. In fact, I found that most verbal come-ons are a turn off, in less they are expertly delivered.
I know I’m not alone here; a girlfriend of mine was recently lamenting about a similar issue with her long-time live-in. They were at the grocery store a few weeks ago when her man leaned in and said “So you wanna do it tonight?”
While it can be hot to know your partner is thinking about you naked as you browse the canned goods aisle, this came off as more “I am lazy, I don’t want to put the effort into seducing you, but I’d like to get up in it.”
Uhm…excuse me? I thought we were choosing between garbanzo and kidney beans for our soup…
So how can you signal it’s time for sex without the verbal blabber? Heavy petting usually works, but if you want to go for something a little more subtle than a (well-timed) crotch grab, consider creating your own sex signal. Batman had a bat-signal that told
him when it was time to get down to business, and you can too.
In college I had this boyfriend who went nuts over this particular red bra I owned. So when I wanted to get freaky, I would put it on, and it would trigger a Pavlovian response. We would be out, and I would let him catch a glimpse of it somehow, and then he would be all handsy until we were alone. It was great…except for the few occasions it was actually just laundry day and the red bra was all that was left. Talk about a let-down…
Lingerie excluded, another awesome sex signal is a special f*ck candle. Buy a designated candle that you only light during sex. Seeing it lit when you get home will signal it’s playtime. Plus, candles burn for an average of 8 hours per oz of wax, so it’s fun to watch the wax’s progress and know how many hours you have spent marinating.
Okay, how do you signal it’s time for sex? Are you into verbal queues? I want to hear!