There’s been quite a stir on the interwebz lately about the emergence of a vegan strip club! A what? Yep. A nude bar where all the food is vegan, all outfits being worn (and taken off) on stage are cruelty-free, and many of the dancers are meat-free as well. The club, Casa Diablo, is located in Portland. No real shocker there…
The news about the establishment broke when the Mayor of Newark (again, no shocker) started Tweeting one of Casa Diablo’s dancers, and it spiraled onward.
Casa Diablo is the only vegan strip club in America, filling a niche market that is probably only marketable at all in a super hip city like Portland…it would probably also do well in Austin, and maybe some parts of Brooklyn.
At first I was all, vegan or not, why the heck does a strip club want to serve food? Pasties and gourmet fare don’t usually mix, right? Every state has their own strip club rules and regulations, and apparently it’s pretty easy to open up a nude bar in Oregon, but if you want to serve booze, then you need to also be serving food. So, that mystery is solved.
The club is named after owner and vegan of nearly three decades Johnny Diablo. I know what you guys are thinking. Who cares about vegan boobies, is that his real name? I guess if my parents named me Johnny Diablo, I would have to either work in porn or pay homage to myself by opening my own strip club. Diablo explained that not only is Portland the vegan capital of the U.S, it’s also the strip club capital of the U.S. Now that, I was totally unaware of. I guess I would have thought it’d be Vegas… Silly me!
The menu is kind of all over the place…er…I mean, international. Eats include nachos, egg rolls, samosas, chimichangas, burgers, sloppy joes, stroganoff, and yakisoba.
I have actually never been to a strip club, for a whole bunch of reasons, but if I ever want to pop my strip cherry then I should get my ass down to Portland so that my first experience can be a cruelty-free one. And as far as converting meat-eaters, well what better way than to do it PETA-style with a little T & A, I guess? Spread that compassion, people!
Yelp users have mixed reviews. All of them say the girls are gorgeous (go Saturday if you want girl-on-girl), the food is pretty good, and the place is clean. Most of them complain about it being expensive. Apparently you have to give the girls $2 bills and not $1.
However, if you’re on a budget, you can still enjoy a burger and boobies at Casa Diablo. A super helpful Yelp user who goes by Bryan B provided a nice run down of how to have yourself a good time at Casa Diablo for only $40 bucks. Way to be helpful! Rules from Budget Bryan are as follows:
HOW TO SPEND ONLY $40 AT CASA DIABLO
1. Load up before hand on 1 and 2 dollar bills.
2. Go to casa D’s early enough to avoid the cover. Sit by the wall. Get something to eat because the food is good and inexpensive ($10 includes the $2 tip), plus you won’t look like a freeloader if you are actually eating something.
3. When the feeling hits you- especially when you notice two girls at once up there or a girl that is really giving it all she’s got- get yourself to the stage and plop down those $2 bills. After all- you may be a cheap ass but the girls ARE working
4. Now- after getting yourself worked up by watching naked flesh- once your money starts to wind down, go over to the Golden Dragon, watch a few of the strippers there, decide which one will likely offer the best experience, and then get yourself a lap dance that will only cost you $50 for 3 songs instead of $100!
Thanks, Bryan B!
My guess is that if you’re a vegan living in Portland who feels like eating a meal while staring at boobies, then Casa Diablo is going to be the place you go. Unless, you know, you have the option of doing all that at home. Because you can do that for free.